Leela’s Tips & Tricks is Leela’s first foray into writing a monthly column – she usually just appears in Mike DeNero’s Neighborhood. As such, she does not have an impressive resume … yet. But give her a break; she’s only five-years-old! We hope you find her vintage collecting tips useful, her butchered attempts at composing sentences in what she calls “Canadien-French” amusing (if not refreshing, albeit confusing), and her unabashed love for her Montreal Canadiens admirable. Enjoy!
Qu'est-ce que vous achetez?
(Translation: What Shall You Buy?)
Bonjour, collectionnuers de cartes! It’s me, Leela, providing you with some vintage cardboard education … my tip o' the month. Voilà!
Due to the celebrity I have become thanks to my monthly column, my fellow collectors often ask me for advice on what cards they should be buying. My answer today, and every day, is buy cards picturing Montreal Canadiens players, of course! Excellente idée, non? Qui mieux que moi? Personne! I mean, seriously, we are the king of the hill, especially after Les Habitants knocked the overrated, underscoring, underprepared, overconfident Washington Crapitals out of the playoffs! Vive Halak! Vive Bergeron! Vive Plekanec!! Capitals de Washington, au revoir! Profitez de l'été dans votre humides, moucheron infestées, la ville de second ordre de Washington, DC!
Enough gloating for now – I need to head over to the dry cleaner to drop off my vintage red wool Maurice "the Rocket" Richard #9 Montreal Canadiens hockey sweater. After Dominic Moore put my Habs up 2-0 in Game 7, I spilled some apple juice on the front of it while celebrating. I hope that incompétents imbecile at the dry cleaner can figure out how to remove the stains! Dites une prière pour moi et Maurice Richard.
Au revoir … Vive Les Habitants! C'est tout!